OP Full Blast: Gone Batty!
by TheRealEvanSG
Summary: Vampires? Stow-aways? Spectacularly failed first dates? Damon's back, and this time he's in for even more crazy adventures with the Straw Hat crew! The ragtag crew picks up a mysterious girl who claims to have powers of the Blood-Blood Fruit, and warns them of the end of the world. And Damon himself may be the catalyst for the multiverse's decimation... Fem!Luffy, OC-insert, Book 3
1. No 1: A Well-Deserved Vacation!

**Here it is, folks! At long, long last, I am finally posting the third installment of Damon's adventures through the crazy world of** ** _One Piece_** **. We've come one heck of a long way from the start of the series, and it's only gonna get longer! I am super excited to be starting this completely original arc, and I'm sure you guys are pumped to see what I can come up with, too. So, without further ado, let's jump right into the one arc to rule them all! ...So far.**

 **Chapter 1... BEGIN!**

* * *

A Well-Deserved Vacation!

The Quiet Date on the Island of Good Fortune

* * *

Some might say that being a pirate could never mean good things. I've been one long enough, now, to be able to say that, for the most part, they may be right about that statement. I've been ripped away from my home, forced to fight poisonous Hellhounds, killed someone who turned out to be my half-brother, took an unplanned swim in a giant whale's stomach acid, swapped genders (although I managed to return to my original male body, thank the gods), and so much more that if I listed it all, it would probably fill up this entire chapter.

But I can also say, for sure, that I have had some of the best moments of my life among the crew of the _Going Merry_.

I would never sell them out, not on my life. I've been through so much with the Straw Hats, they've become my family, and, in the female captain's case, a little more than that. I would die before letting them get killed, but as I much preferred living to the opposite, every day, I trained both my body and my mind to be at the best of their abilities.

Which was why, instead of relaxing on my vacation like I very much deserved, I was currently sparring with my fellow demigod, Ryan Spencer.

We each had our _kami no kosoru - -_ swords forged to strike down immortals beings - - out and ready for combat, gripped in our hands firmly. We paced in a circle upon sand so white, it almost appeared to be snow. Fifteen feet away from us, the ocean crashed against the beach relentlessly, the waterline crawling up the pristine grains and then receding. I could feel the waves calling to me, to my very bones; for I was a demigod son of the demon of the sea, Aeso, and water gave me strength.

"Flaming Anvil!" Ryan shouted suddenly, and I found myself rolling to the side to avoid an unexpected fireball from his blade. Ryan was also a son of a demon, although his father ruled over the forge, and thus, Ryan and all his demigod half-siblings could control fire. They also happened to be rather skilled mechanics.

The fireball I dodged exploded in the ocean behind me, sending a small school of minnows into a frenzy. I frowned at Ryan as I got to my feet, brushing off minuscule grains of white sand. "Watch where you aim those things!" I grumbled. "I nearly got fried!"

Ryan shrugged, his light eyes uncaring. "You dodged it, didn't you? No harm, no foul."

"Why, you little - -"

"Oi, oi," said the tired voice of our ship's swordsman, Roronoa Zoro. He lay on a beach towel several yards away from us, rolled over on his side. "I can't sleep with you two making so much noise. Give it a rest or _I'll_ train you."

Ryan and I exchanged frightened glances. I'd been through enough of Zoro's 'training' to know that, once it was finished, every single muscle in your body hurt like hell. That man was a complete beast. He couldn't seem to understand, either, that despite the fact that he could lift about four hundred pounds without breaking a sweat, normal people would break under the same weight.

"Yes sir," we intoned in unison.

Sitting in a beach chair to Zoro's left, Nami, our spirited navigator, sighed and rolled her eyes. "Geez, if those two are finally gonna just relax and enjoy our vacation, maybe all the islanders won't act so strangely around us."

"Indeed, they seem to be quite afraid of us," Nico Robin, the Straw Hat crew's newest recruit, chuckled. Thirty years old and by leagues the wisest person on our crew, she'd spent most of her life running from the World Government. She cast her eyes about the beach. "Although that is strange, since most of the population appears to have been pirates at least once in their life."

We Straw Hats were not the only ones on this public beach. In fact, it was quite rowdy - - except for the stretch of sand immediately around our crew. The islanders of Fortuna Island, all of whom sported quite impressive tans and mostly black hair, appeared to be giving us a wide berth. Maybe they just didn't want to get caught up in my sparring with Ryan. I didn't blame them. What with me mentally tossing water about in humongous waves, and Ryan sending plumes of fire off that commonly ended up exploding somewhere nearby, most normal people would be quite nervous to be within our general vicinity.

Cracking my neck, I groaned painfully and sighed. "Well, I suppose you all have a point. Lucy? ...Lucy?" I looked around for our beautiful female captain, who also happened to be my girlfriend. I had thought that she was sitting with Nami and Robin, but I couldn't see hide nor hair of the tell-tale straw hat which was always perched on her crown. I blinked in surprise. "Uh... guys, where's Lucy?"

"Your girlfriend's playing in the water," Nami said bluntly.

My face heated up, and I was about to make a snappy retort over how much teasing Nami had put me through the past few days (dear Lord, the teasing about my captain being my girlfriend!). But then I blinked and paused. "...Wait. Did you say... in the water?"

My head swiveled fearfully to the ocean, sure I was about to see a drowning Monkey D. Lucy. Due to the fact that she'd eaten one of the fabled Devil Fruits - - the Gum-Gum one, to be precise - - she was like a hammer in the ocean; she just sunk and kept on sinking. Then my wide eyes landed on a teenage girl with long, black hair like a river, laughter bubbling up endlessly from her chest as she scurried back from the tide, which washed up just inches from her sandled feet. Beside her, an adorable little animal no taller than about a foot and a half, with a head disproportionately larger than its body, copied her, also giggling like crazy. Lucy and Chopper, having backpedaled much too quickly, lost their balance and toppled backward, sniggering the whole time.

I rolled my eyes. "Geez, Lucy," I called out, and the rubber-girl's head turned to look curiously at me. I grinned. "You and Chopper are acting like children. A pirate captain and her doctor should have more dignity than that, eh?"

"You're one to talk about dignity," she huffed cheekily. "You beat up on a pelican yesterday."

My cheeks flushed in embarrassment. "Hey, it's not my fault it pooped on my head!" I said. "Besides, you're the one who fell into the town sewers!"

Her face paled, and she stared distantly into the ocean, as if trying to forget some terrible memory. "Never again," she murmured. "I'm never going down another manhole in my life."

Nami shuddered in disgust. "You're not the one who actually had to _wash_ you, though, Lucy-chan," she grumbled.

Chopper laughed. "You were really gross!"

I cleared my throat. "Regardless, Lucy... while I'm taking a break from training, do you, uh... want to go grab a bite to eat in town with me?" I frowned at Nami, who was smirking like this was hilarious to watch. "...Just us?"

A blonde head poked around the side of Robin's beach chair, scowling. "Oi, Spaz!" spat Sanji, the chef of the crew. "Don't you go eating too much! I'm making a seafood spread tonight, and if even one bit of it goes wasted, I'll kick you overboard!"

"Aye, aye." I flipped the blond off casually, and his teeth ground furiously. He seemed caught between refusing to let Lucy go on a 'date' with a 'bastard look-out' like me, and stopping Lucy from being happy, or letting us go and losing any possible chance he had with the captain, no matter how small. After several moments in which we had an equally nasty glaring contest, Sanji grumbled under his breath and returned to giving Robin a back massage.

The raven-haired girl again looked at me in surprise, a blush stealing across her face. A small smile crept up her lips. "Lunch with you? Yeah, definitely."

Incredibly happy, I walked over to her and offered my hand to help her get to her feet. She clasped it, her soft fingers interlocking with mine. I pulled her up and grinned. "Well, then, let's get going."

Ryan watched us leave, unimpressed. "...And just like that, I've been forgotten."

* * *

Walking through the streets of the only town on Fortuna Island, a quiet little burg appropriately named Sea Haven, Lucy and I were in complete peace together.

We had arrived on this island three days after leaving Alabasta, and so far had spent a wonderful vacation here while our Log Pose reset. There were no insane pirates ravaging the villagers, no crazy dictators suppressing the rights of the people, no Devil Fruit eaters going on a rampage... all was calm. After the recent civil war we'd just helped win in a desert country, we Straw Hats had breathed in the relaxation like a dead man brought back to life. Our bodies still ached from the exertion of the many tough battles we'd been through recently, but were slowly restoring themselves to full strength. I figured there was a reason why Fortuna Island was called by many, 'the island of good luck.'

Overhead, the sun shone brightly. Birds chirped happily in the trees lining Sea Haven's streets, and flowers lifted up their heads in full bloom. It was all so different from Alabasta, which had been filled up with so much _sand_ , that it almost made my brain hurt.

"It's beautiful, isn't it, Luce?" I sighed in peaceful bliss.

A grin spread across Lucy's lips. "Yeah, it is," she agreed, but then she pouted. "Everything here is so _boring,_ though!"

"Whaddya mean?"

"It's too quiet!" she huffed. Her lower lip stuck out like an upset little kid's, and I rolled my eyes at the sight. Classic Lucy. "No one here is doing anything worth getting in a fight over, and my entire body just wants to _punchkickpunchkick - -_ "

"Aye, aye," I said blandly. "I know you're a human tornado, Lucy, but could you stand to be a mere breeze sometimes?"

She blinked in confusion. "Huh what?"

"What I mean is, you've gotta tone it down a notch. There's not always gonna be some major battle we need to get into. Just relax and have fun!"

As we strolled through town, Lucy puffing about like a hyperactive four-year-old, I noticed a small building with walls that were mostly glass windows. Sitting on the corner of a busy street, it was the smallest building on the block. It was shaped like a trailer home, except about five times bigger, and had full metal pipes stretching along the top corners. A sign reading _Chance's Grub! Now Open!_ hung on a peg in the center of its red door, and a menu stood outside it on a recycled music stand. It looked like one of those old steel trolley diners, except Oda-style.

Lucy's stomach rumbled. "I smell meat!" she declared, her nose flaring as her eyes homed in on the diner.

I sweatdropped. "Well," I said fondly, "I guess I know where we're eating, then."

We maneuvered our way inside, sat down, and ordered our meals. Lucy demanded one of everything on the menu (no surprise for me, although I've seen ghosts with more color than our waitress after she heard my girlfriend's request). I studied the menu for somewhat longer than her, before deciding upon a glass of iced lemonade and a coney dog.

Man, that had surprised me. They had _coney dogs_ in the world of _One Piece_?

Whatever glorious bastard made this possible when New York didn't even _exist_ here, I didn't even know, but I definitely wasn't gonna pass this chance up.

"What's a coney dog?" asked Lucy, blinking owlishly after my order.

"You've never had one before?" I gaped at her. "Okay, you are going to love these things. They actually partially come from _my_ home city, and they used to be one of my favorite foods. They're awesome."

Her eyes lit up. "Hey, hey, you never told me what that place you come from's like! Uh, what was it again? Old Cork?"

"New York," I deadpanned. Then I grinned. "But hey, I know you'd love it if you ever got to go there, Luce! There's so many awesome things to do there, and there's so much amazing stuff that's been invented in my world that you'd have a field day. We have these things called cars which you can drive everywhere, and they go super fast - - there's a lot of rules to driving and laws for the road, though, so it's a bit of a hassle, really."

"Cars? They sound COOL!" Lucy gushed, her eyes sparking as she leaned so close across the table, other customers shot disturbed glances her way.

I nodded. "And we've got these things called trains, too. Think of them like really big boats, except they can float across the land on these railroads."

"Really!?" Lucy gasped, her eyes nearly popping out of her head. "Whoa! A-awesome!"

I proceeded to tell her all about Earth, New York City, and my old 'family,' which consisted of an ex-druggee, Cracked-Up Kane, and a computer geek, Jason. For Lucy's part, she listened extremely well. The rubber-girl was very attentive to my story, her black hair bouncing with her nods as I described the Statue of Liberty and why it was so important. I'm sure most of what I said ended up flying in one ear and out the other. But it was nice to finally explain everything to somebody - - even if said someone was a complete moron like Lucy, and not someone who could actually use the information, like perhaps Robin.

Of course, there was still one thing I hadn't told _anybody_.

Despite the fact that all the Straw Hats had learned I was not, in fact, born in this world, and was from an entirely different one altogether, I still hadn't had the heart to inform them that they were all fictional characters in a manga. (Well, fictional characters of an _alternate universe_ of a manga, but that was besides the point.)

I figured they had enough on their minds, _without_ the knowledge that they weren't really... real. Even so, it ate at me every single day. I hated living a lie to my friends, even if it was to protect their sanity. Who knows what they might do if they realized their entire lives were just part of the plot of a comic in one small corner of a very large world? I didn't want to think about it. And yet... there was always that _doubt_. That horrible little guilt, whispering in the back of my mind every day that I was _still_ just one big liar, that I didn't deserve to be on the crew because I couldn't even man up and tell them this _one little thing_.

And that scared me.

Because, you see, I'm not like any normal human. I'm not even like any normal demigod. Because in the back of my mind, I've got a devil living inside me, a devil named Dagger. He looks like me. He talks like me. Hell, he even sort of _acts_ like me - - crazier, bloodthirstier, and downright evil, sure, but still like me. And I know that at the first sign of mental instability, Dagger would jump at the chance to take over my body, rise up to full power, and destroy everyone and everything I love.

Watching Lucy laugh as I told her about my dear friend Jason and the time he fell into Hudson Bay trying to stop a rat from stealing his Jolly Rancher, I knew one thing for certain. I couldn't, under any circumstance, let that happen.

* * *

 **TIME SKIP - - WITH THE REST OF THE STRAW HATS**

"Geez," sighed Ryan Spencer, son of the current demon of the forge. His freckles rippled across his face like ocean spray rolls over waves; a rather curious effect, thought Nami, but she decided not to voice her thought. "How long are those two lovebirds gonna be gone?"

She shrugged. "It's their first real date alone together," she pointed out. "It wouldn't surprise me if we didn't see them for the rest of the night."

"How did that happen anyway?" he laughed. The young man was tall, his hair topped with a fiery red mess of hair that was one hell of a battle to comb in the morning. Nami had learned quite an extraordinary amount of curses merely by listening to him attempt to clean up yesterday morning... despite the fact that they'd been on opposite corners of their ship, the _Going Merry_.

"How did what happen?" she asked. "How did they get together?"

A curt nod was all that the ginger navigator needed to know she had guessed correctly.

"Well, it's an interesting story, actually. See, Lucy-chan cornered Damon about it in the hallways of Alabasta's palace - -"

"Not even close!" barked Zoro. "You let it slip to Lucy in the bathtubs that Damon had been crushing on her! You basically threatened her to confront him about it lest you up her debt to you for the next decade!"

Ryan sweatdropped. "I see now why everyone calls you sea witch, Nami-san."

Robin, folding one perfectly tanned leg over the other, giggled and brushed a lock of fallen hair back behind her head. "Ara, ara, just give her some treasure and she'll love you forever, Writer-san."

Both blushed. "S-SHUT UP, ROBIN!"

The redheaded young man glared out into the ocean, cheeks nearing the same color of his hair. He wasn't interested in Nami, no way! He'd barely had enough time on the _Going Merry_ to even properly be called a Straw Hat at this point. And his manner of joining had been entirely unorthodox at that - - he'd pretty much demanded they let him join, so he could keep a track of Damon and let the god he worked for, Malik Meggido, know when the son of the sea was ready to make his decision. It was quite the decision, too. Would he stick with what he knew, and decide that his father, Aeso, told the truth about the Immortal War? Or would he see the unwavering righteousness in Ryan and Malik's path, and decide to fight for the _real_ gods to stop the destruction of the world?

One way or another, Ryan thought, watching a small boat far out in the ocean bob across the waves, an interesting three weeks lay before them.

As he stared out to sea, he imagined he saw the aforementioned boat draw closer. Ryan's eyes furrowed. Did they think they could land here or something, and if so, were they idiots? Couldn't they see this stretch of land was a public beach?

Then, as if from a very, very long tunnel, Ryan's ears picked up a deep and resounding _BOOM_.

Smoke trailed from the ship.

"Someone fired a cannon!" shouted Chopper, sniffing the air as he fell away from some more waves. In Lucy's absence, he'd continued to dash forward to them and then scutter away, although significantly less enthusiastic without a partner.

"A cannon?" Sanji repeated, blinking as looked up from massaging Robin's shoulders.

And then, very quickly, three things happened.

Number One: A cannonball ripped by the vacationing pirates in record speed, so fast indeed that the wind it created blasted their red-and-orange sunbrella back. Said cannonball continued right past them, sailing over the beach and into the town of Sea Haven above the minuscule cliff which separated the main island from the sand. It smashed into a large, government-looking building and _erupted_ , like a bomb. Smoke billowed up into the air.

Number Two: A siren broke out in town, blaring out the phrase, _PIRATE ATTACK! DESTROY ALL NON-RETIRED PIRATES IN THE VICINITY! PIRATE ATTACK! DESTROY ALL NON-RETIRED PIRATES IN THE VICINITY!_ so loud Ryan was certain he'd be hard of hearing for the next month. The ship that the mechanic and Chronicler of the Straw Hat Pirates had noticed now sat close enough that a pirate flag could easily be seen. The black sails bore the mark of a Jolly Roger whose two hammers crossed behind a sneering skull, which had one eye scarred closed and its nose-hole crooked.

Number Three: Panic broke out in the beach and on the streets of Sea Haven. It suddenly seemed that every last islander owned a gun, because hundreds of them were now pointed in the Straw Hats' directions, courtesy of some very angry villagers. "Look at this!" someone shouted, pointing to a stack of wanted posters and then at them. "These guys are wanted pirates! I've seen their names in the papers and thought they looked familiar when they landed here! They must've been planning an attack here these past few days, and called in some friends to help them do it! KILL THEM!"

Zoro yawned and rubbed his eyes, glaring intently at the islanders. "What kind of idiots are these people?" he growled. "If we wanted to kill them, we would've done it by now."

Ryan took a nervous step backward, not liking the looks of that bazooka one of the islanders had whipped _out of nowhere,_ and was now pointing directly at him. "Whatever the state of their IQ, they mean business," he gulped. "I don't like it, but it looks like they've lumped us in with those pirates who just blew up what I assume to be their town hall."

"Great," spat Nami, still in her sun-bathing bikini and glasses. Her hand slipped beneath her, where she had hidden the three pieces of the Clima-Tact which Usopp had crafted for her to use in battle. "And after all the precious belli I invested into this place's clothes stores! They sure show their appreciation well!"

Usopp was beside himself. "Forgot your stupid money! We're going to die if someone doesn't do something _qui~i~i~ick!_ "

"As if I would let Nami-swan, Robin-chwan, or Lucy-sama die!" roared Sanji, his eyes like fire as he whipped around to face the enraged islanders.

"Ara, ara, things got interesting surprisingly quickly," mused Robin. She swung herself off the beach chair and stood up casually, completely in her zone. Her arms crossed dangerously in front of her chest.

"Well, I suppose there's only one way out of here now," Zoro called, over the growing shouts of the island's dwellers. "Hey, Nami! Your Log Pose set yet?"

"No, it isn't - - wait, no, actually it is! Yep!"

Zoro unsheathed his swords, keeping two of them in either hand and his most prized sword, Wado Ichimonji, in his mouth. His knees bent into a horse stance, and a green aura of danger radiated from his body. "Then let's blow this Popsicle stand!"

"AYE!" everyone roared, deadly smirks ripping across their faces.

* * *

 **TIME SKIP - - DAMON'S POV**

Needless to say, when the cannonball blew up the building _right across the freaking street from me just as I was about to take my first bite of coney dog_ , I was really, really pissed.

Essentially when all of the villagers suddenly pointed a myriad of different shooty weapons in the faces of Lucy and me.

"Oh come on!" I complained. "Seriously!?"

Lucy looked up at the barrel pointed directly into her face, held by noneother than the waitress who had just handed me my coney dog. A wicked grin spread across the rubber-girl's face, and I could practically see her eyes flip into boxing gloves.

"Well, Lucy-chan, guess you got that fight you wanted," I said woodenly, and cracked my knuckles.

"Yep!" She grinned like the cat that ate the bird. "Shishishishi!"

It was at that moment that the islanders decided to unleash a righteous _hell_ of bullets, cannonballs, and all manner of nasty, round projectiles at us.

One couldn't say vacation on Fortuna Island was _entirely_ quiet, it seems.

* * *

 **At long last.**

 **We have finally arrived at the end of the first chapter of _Gone Batty_.**

 **Prepare yourselves for one epic ride, folks, because this is going to be completely amazing. This chapter was more introductory to the story than anything else, really. No, this 'Fortuna Island' is not the incredibly-small-percentage-of-survival island that Malik Megiddo mentioned in the last book, but that particular one _is_ coming up here soon.**

Damon: Oh, come on! I finally go on a date with Lucy and _this_ happens! Just my luck! Shit-author!

Lucy: I think it's an awesome date myself! Shishishi!

Damon: *sweatdrops*

Ryan: *shakes head* A hopeless case, that one, a hopeless case...

 **I hope you have all enjoyed this first entry of the new adventure in the _One Piece: Full Blast_ series! If there is anyone who is confused about anything that the characters have mentioned, I implore you to go back and read the previous two books in this series first. They are _From the East_ and _Across the Sands,_ in order. Read those, and then you will understand any past events mentioned in this chapter and future chapters. Also, for everyone who has read this, I humbly ask if you enjoyed it, for your follows and/or favorites, as they really make a guy happy. Reviews are welcome as well, and indeed, much more appreciated than even the aforementioned follows/favorites, as they show what you really feel about my works.**

 **Stay tuned for more demigodishness and pirate awesomeness in the future!**

 **Have a wonderful Easter, everybody! -TheRealEvanSG**


	2. No 2: Engage! The Diner Fistfight!

**I'm back again, everybody.**

 **Well, probably not for long, though. Knowing how often I update these, of course. My writing time has only gotten worse because now not only am I playing Minecraft a ton, I'm also making Minecraft vids on my YouTube channel, which by the way I have the same name on as I do here. If you want to check those vids out, feel free to. In the meantime, here's another chapter of my hit One Piece fanfic for you all. Without further ado...**

 **Chapter 2... BEGIN!**

* * *

An Ex-Marine on the Island of Good Fortune?

Engage! The Diner Fistfight!

* * *

I had expected my first date with my beautiful girlfriend to be calm, relaxing, a nice dinner with a nice conversation to go with it.

What I hadn't been prepared for was a fight to the death with an entire island of people.

"Oh, come on, how can they honestly think _we_ were behind that cannon-fire when we were clearly _right here in this diner the entire time?_ " I ground out as I leapt onto my chair and begun a crazy dodging dance strangely reminiscent of the mambo. I narrowly avoided an outright bullet hell, only to find a hailstorm of more high-powered ammunition firing directly at me. I somersaulted over the table, the bullets spraying past me and shattering the window behind me.

Over the angry, shouting voices of the diner customers, Lucy swallowed her last bite of steak and grinned wickedly. "I don't really know and I don't really care!" she cackled, a strangely sadistic glint gleaming in her eye. "All I know is that..." No less than twenty bullets smashed into her skin, only to stretch it out in the direction they'd come in until they completely lost momentum. "THAT WON'T WORK!"

With an evil laugh, Lucy released the tension in her skin, and all the bullets were blasted back at their owners. There was much screaming and ducking and kicking, and general pandemonium among their ranks as they attempted to dodge their own ammo. I hastily regained my balance from my impromptu dodging dance, sliding my feet into an appropriate fighting stance upon the top of our table. I raised my fists, keeping one out in front of my face, and the other pulled back at ready next to my waist.

"You guys want a fight!?" I snapped, my eye twitching furiously. "Well, you all just ruined my first date! So come fight me like a man!"

There was much annoyed grumbling.

"This girl just bounced all our bullets back at us... with her _body_ ," gulped a woman in the front, a tall, slack-jawed redhead, glancing at Lucy in a mixture of awe and trepidation.

The shorter man she was clutching onto in shock just sighed wearily and rubbed his temples. "It's the Grand Line, hon. Sanity died before we even crossed Reverse Mountain."

"The girl clearly has a Devil Fruit!" a man coming from the back of the diner, who appeared to be the owner, growled. "Judging by the way the bullets stretched her skin back, I'd say it's a safe bet that she's a rubber-girl. Focus your ammunition on her little boyfriend there who's desecrating my damn tables with his dirty pirate shoes!"

I sweatdropped. "Man, you guys really are stupid. A girl like Lucy wouldn't date anyone who couldn't at least stand his own in a fight with her."

That being said, even with my abilities, Lucy was just crazy strong, so she'd still lay me flat in a fair fight...

My statement didn't seem to quite reach the villagers' ears, or maybe they were all just conveniently deaf, because a second late, even _more_ bullets rained hell upon me. The room filled with so much gunfire I felt my brain shake in its skull from the noise. " _Gods_ those are some loud guns!" I muttered, then followed up with a quick "Water Body!"

No sooner had the words left my mouth did drops of water coil out of the air, amassing into one being. The water quickly turned into a sheet so large that it covered my body like a thin layer of armor, before hardening to otherworldly levels. It had a strange solidity, like ice, yet curiously retained the same liquid make-up and feel. I wasn't quite sure how the move worked myself; my closest guess was that somehow I mentally forced the water to become _denser_ , like ice but not quite since it didn't lose any heat in the process. Whatever the method of the madness, the bullets slammed harmlessly into the sheen of glistening, iron-thick water wrapped around my body.

When the gun smoke cleared, and the last of the bullets had dropped to the table leaving only a few bruises here and there on me, the diner customers blinked once.

Then twice.

A third time.

Finally their brains seemed to comprehend what they were seeing, because their jaws dropped even further than when Lucy bounced their bullets back. As one body, they shouted, "WHAT THE HELL!?" Their eyes popped out of their heads, and several of their guns clattered to the floor, accidentally released from disbelief.

"He formed water from nothing..."

"And it was somehow able to stop projectiles traveling at over a thousand feet per second..."

The man from before, with the redhead girl, just heaved a very long, very weary sigh and croaked, "Well, screw it. Looks like my tab at Patty's Bar just shot up about two hundred dollars. Tonight's gonna be a _long. Freaking. Night._ "

With that, he stumbled out the door in a daze.

I stared at the people.

Then stared some more.

"Pff..." Unable to hold back any longer, laughter exploded from me in torrents, so hard I nearly had tears in my eyes. "PFFHAHAHAHAHA! Oh my gods! Your _faces_! That was _priceless_! My gods, I wish I'd brought my iPod with me... man, what I wouldn't have given for a picture of _that_..."

"Shishishishi! Yeah, these guys are pretty stupid!" Lucy cackled, and coming from her... well, let's just say anyone on the receiving end of _that_ really should be dead by then, if Survival of the Fittest is in anyway real.

"Alright, that's it!" the guy I'd pegged as the diner's owner grumbled, his fingers tapping restlessly against his side. "These two damned kids covered my precious tables with dusty bullets! And had the gall to laugh at us! Kill them both, and don't bother with bullets! They clearly have no effect on either - - we'll use our swords, daggers, whatever we've got on us!"

The diner customers took a moment to shake themselves out of their shocked stupor, before drawing swords, daggers, and even javelins from absolute bullshit places, even for an anime world. Seriously, one guy reached beneath his tongue and drew out a three-inch knife. From beneath _his frigging tongue_. Just the thought of the dangers in every step taken with that hiding place for your weapon was enough to stop me laughing cold.

Then the customers rushed us.

"Alright!" Lucy grinned and cracked her knuckles. "The fight is on!"

"Well, I suppose you're right. Alright, then..." Not really seeing any way out of this, I sighed and drew my fist back as my first opponent took a running jump onto my table. His momentum carried him straight into my already painfully fast fist. "HAWK BLAST!"

The hopeless extra was tossed off the table from the force of the punch and back into a group of five of his buddies.

Sometimes, I really wish I had thought to carry a Staples button that day when Aeso came for me in New York.

On her end, Lucy was having just as little trouble. She laughed in delight as a mass of ten angry customers surged toward her, placing a hand on one's head and kicking off the ground, using him as a sort of balance to somersault to the other side of the group. At the height of the arc, she let go. Upon landing, Lucy threw a rubbery arm back, and I watched as it stretched to the back of the diner before snapping forward and into the would-be attackers. They had almost completely turned around again to face her, only to be rewarded with a painfully fast "GOMU-GOMU NO PISTOL!" to the noses.

"HYAAA!"

I blinked as twin shouts rose up from either side of me, and looked to my right. A guy with a three-foot broadsword was charging across tables like a bull, taking long strides so he didn't miss a step and fall.

"HOOOOOH!"

I turned again. To my left was a guy who looked identical to my other challenger, and even had an exact copy of the first's blade.

Teamers, then, huh? Well, I wasn't about to let guys like that flank me while my attention had momentarily been drawn. I waited to move until they were almost upon me. Then, just as they brought their swords in wide, sweeping arcs clearly meant to lop my head off, I casually ducked, and the idiots were thrown off balance. The two men clearly hadn't expected their attacks to be met with empty air. They stumbled forward, right in the path of my feet as I sprang into a front flip and kicked my legs out horizontally.

 _SMACK!_

The sound of two identical noses breaking rang out for a moment as the men were thrown back from the force of my kick. They nearly fell over, but evidently were made of a bit sterner stuff than the first guy, because the twins rushed me again, swords singing, eyes glaring. I went on the offensive this time. I darted out of range of the man on my right, then focused on his brother. I blasted a hand out to grab his sword arm, stopping it from swinging any further. He grunted and glared, dark eyes casting down their dislike. I paid him no mind and instead used his own momentum against him, throwing his arm behind me and heaving. The man was thrown into the air and straight at his brother, who gulped and had to roll to the side to dodge, narrowly avoiding falling off of the table he was on.

"Alright, and now for you!" I said, raising my fist. The water around my body started moving as if with a mind of its own, sliding so it coalesced around my right hand. I ran across my table and leaped off it, soaring through the air in a direct path with him. "Tempest Fist!"

My fist collided with his face, and the full force of my body being put it into it sent him crashing through the air and smacking into the diner wall. He slumped to the ground, unconscious.

"HYAAAAGH! DIE, SCUM WHO DARE ATTACK THIS VILLAGE!"

I looked up and narrowed my eyes. The owner of the store had decided to focus on me instead of Lucy, dashing forward with his left hand held protectively in front of his face, his right pulled back at the ready by his side. I studied him, judging how much of a threat he appeared. He was a couple inches shorter than me, with flaming orange hair like a bonfire. His eyes were green like sea foam. His hair was windswept, and his face was a little pudgy, stubble visible around the bottom of his face. He carried himself with a good sense of balance. I grinned to myself. Something in his eyes spoke that he was a better brand of fighter than the rest of the men and women in the diner.

"Alright, let's see what you have to offer," I muttered. I turned fully and stepped off the table.

The man howled like a maniac and threw a sudden jab with his left hand. My eyes widened a little; I had been expecting him to attack with his right first. Regardless, he didn't have enough speed to land the hit on me, and I successfully leaned away from the punch. The diner's owner didn't leave it at that, though. He followed through with a series of punches, kicks, and fake-outs that were actually fairly decent attacks. _He's definitely sailed the Grand Line_ , I thought, narrowing my eyes as my arms moved like lightning, sweeping any punches or kicks that I couldn't sidestep out of the way. "TEMPEST LEG!"

The water around my fist quickly moved to my leg as I brought my foot up for a spinning roundhouse kick, Chuck Norris-style. But the man was stronger than I expected; he blocked it with his bare fist and only bit his tongue. My smirk widened. This might actually be a little fun.

"What's your name, owner guy?" I asked, grinning.

His eyes narrowed. "Grian. And I do indeed own this diner. Care to tell me yours, so I know what to put on your marker when I bury you?"

I snorted. "The name's Digger D. Damon. It won't be on any grave marker within the next fifty years, at least, though, so don't count on having to bury me!"

"Alright, then, let's see what you think of..." Suddenly, Grian cartwheeled back, kicking his legs out wildly. "BUTCHER'S KNIFE!"

I gaped in shock as the furious kicking of his legs began to produce beams of light in the air, all of which flung themselves at me. "WHOA!" I gulped, throwing myself to the side in time to get only a few minor scratches on my cheek. Warm, red liquid sliding down my face, I pointed a shaking finger at Grian. "Oi, oi, oi, hold it! How the hell do you know _Rankyaku_!?"

"You pick up some crazy shit while working as a Marine on the Grand Line," said Grian, cracking his knuckle. "I worked for the Navy before deciding to become a pirate, and then later retiring from the sea altogether."

"THAT WAS... SO COOL!" gasped Lucy, and I could practically hear the sparkles in her eyes. I blinked in surprise and looked her way. She was dusting her hands off, standing before a pile of unconscious bodies, looking at us with... yep, I called it, eyes that had turned into sparkles. "HE CREATED CUTTING ATTACKS FROM HIS FEET! SO STRONG!"

"Whatever." Grian spun around in a handstand for a moment, regaining his balance, then flipped back to his feet. "Alright! Taste this! SAILOR'S SASHIMI!" He stabbed the air with his pointer finger multiple times, and I blinked as little bullets of air shot at me.

"Whoa, don't tell me you know ALL the Six Powers!" I grumbled. I forced the water around my leg to return to shielding my body. I let out a battle cry and charged into (what was clearly) a rainstorm of Finger Pistol-propelled air, wincing as some of the air bullets smashed through my makeshift barrier and stabbed through me. These things were _way_ too strong.

I gritted my teeth as pain wracked my body, forcing myself forward through the massive amount of attacks. "TROPICAL..."

My hand cocked back for a punch, water coiling around it and even heating up a little. "TEMPEST..."

Just as I almost reached my limit of how many more Finger Pistol air-bullets I could take, my fist powered forward into Grian. The man gritted his teeth and stood stock-still, yelling, "TEKK- -"

He didn't get time to harden his body.

 _"FIIIIIST!"_ I shouted, my fist smashing into his face with a satisfying crunch. I threw my body weight into it, grunting as I worked to bring him down. Finally, I heaved and broke through his surprisingly tough defences, sending him flying into his own bar. I panted, releasing the water around me and letting it evaporate into the air. "Man, I'm gonna need Chopper to patch me up once we get back to the Merry," I muttered, eyeing my increasingly reddening shirt. Thanks to all those damn Finger Pistol air-bullets, it was riddled with more holes than a pincushion, and I was sure my stomach/chest looked the same.

Lying on the ground, nearly unconscious, Grian turned his orange-haired head and coughed painfully. "Not bad for a pirate," he mumbled, grinning evilly at us. "But you two best watch your backs. The next island is like hell. I doubt even someone with your power can get out of what you'll encounter there without losing _somebody_ on your crew... and that's if you can fight your way through all the other angry denizens of this town."

I grunted, remembering what the devil in my brain, Dagger, had said a little while ago in Alabasta. A nineteen percent chance of survival...

"Well, it doesn't matter what you think!"

Grian and I both paused, blinking at Lucy in confusion. She was walking up to us, her stupidly brilliant smile stretching across her lips. She radiated confidence, an indescribable certainty as if the very sea itself had told her of her future. "We're gonna survive whatever's there, and I'm not gonna let a single member of my crew die!" She pointed to herself with her thumb and tilted her iconic straw hat down. "You know why? Because I... am going to become the QUEEN OF THE PIRATES!"

The orange-headed ex-Marine lay gaping on the floor as Lucy giggled confidently.

A smirk played across my lips. "Hear that, Grian? That's the conviction of the future ruler of the Grand Line. Now, if you'll excuse us, we've got a crew to return to." I beckoned to Lucy and began walking out of the diner. "Come on, Luce, let's blow this Popsicle stand."

My girlfriend's bubbly laughter reached my ears as she bounded forward and linked hands with mine. We stepped out of the diner together, and into the light of the bright midday sun.

No sooner had we laid foot on the street did somebody shout out, "OI! IT'S THOSE VISITING KAIZOKOU! GET THEM!"

Suddenly, we had a righteous mob of people baring down on us, dashing out of buildings, from alleys, from everywhere, really. "Shit!" I grumbled, my eye twitching. "What do these guys not understand about _peaceful vacations_?"

"Shishishi!" Lucy wrapped one rubbery hand around me and grinned that impossible smile that at once was the bane of every Straw Hat's existence and the reason for being a Straw Hat in the first place. "It doesn't matter! Screw these guys!" Her free hand stretched out to grab onto the roof of a building across the street, and to my growing horror, a glint appeared in her eye. "Let's leave 'em in the dust. Now GOMU-GOMU NO..."

"Wait, wait, Luce, there's no need to be hasty - -" I stammered, my eye twitching. I struggled in her grip, _not_ liking where this was going at all.

"ROCKET!"

...Well, shit.

* * *

Unbeknownst to either of us, a girl watching from a tree on the side of the road swung herself up into a sitting position on the branch she'd been hanging from. For the past half hour, she'd been cautiously observing us, while hanging upside down off the branch, her curled legs the only thing that had been keeping her from falling. Now, she got to her feet on the branch and retreated out of view, into the shadows of the leaves. "The future Pirate Queen, and a young man capable of controlling water, eh?" Something rather like batwings folded across her back, and a mysterious frown spread across her face. "...Looks like the plan will be put into action soon."

She jumped out of the tree, or at least, from an observer's stand point, it would seem as though she had. Except for one key detail:

The girl never landed.

* * *

 **Come on, guys. _I'm_ back. You can't tell me you honestly didn't expect for cliffhangers to be back as well.**

Damon: Okay, I'm really not looking forward to the next island. Is there anyway we can take a detour? Recalculate our route? ANYTHING?

Lucy: Nope!

Damon: But - - but - - a _nineteen percent survival rate!_

Lucy: Nope!

Damon: ...You'll be the death of us all, I swear it.

 **Now that I have some free time, I definitely will be attempting to return to a given schedule of writing. I'm not going to be making any promises, but you should see a lot more chapters from me in the future. Also, if you liked this story so far, please be sure to follow and/or favorite it, as it really shows your appreciation for my time to write this! If you've already done either of the above, you can go ahead and leave a nice little review for the same purpose. I look forward to each and everyone one written, and read them all!**

 **Here's wishing you a belated happy Fourth of July, and also some happy reading! -TheRealEvanSG**

 **P.S. I now do Youtube videos of Minecraft! That's a lot of the reason why I haven't been posting much of anything recently. If you like things like that, go ahead and check out my Youtube channel; it's the same as my name here. I could use all the support I can get!**


	3. No 3: Gum-Gum Rocket Blasts Off!

**Hiya, guys! Toldja I'd be back with another chapter quickly. This series' newest original arc is finally getting to a good start. For those of you just tuning into** ** _One Piece: Full Blast_** **and have no idea what the hell is going on, check out the first two "books" in the series, starting with** ** _OP Full Blast: From the East_** **and working your way up from there. Trust me, you'll be happy you did, because there will be a LOT of references to past events that you won't understand otherwise. Namely, things about the Immortal War that's taking place, who all the gods/demons are, Damon's past, etc.**

 **Now, without further ado, let's get right into the thick of things! Chapter 3... BEGIN!**

* * *

Gum-Gum Rocket Blasts Off!

No One Really Likes the Purple-Haired Girl

* * *

 **Previously on _One Piece Full Blast:_**

 _Unbeknownst to either of us, a girl watching from a tree on the side of the road swung herself up into a sitting position on the branch she'd been hanging from. For the past half hour, she'd been cautiously observing us, while hanging upside down off the branch, her curled legs the only thing that had been keeping her from falling. Now, she got to her feet on the branch and retreated out of view, into the shadows of the leaves. "The future Pirate Queen, and a young man capable of controlling water, eh?" Something rather like batwings folded across her back, and a mysterious frown spread across her face. "...Looks like the plan will be put into action soon."_

 _She jumped out of the tree, or at least, from an observer's stand point, it would seem as though she had. Except for one key detail:_

 _The girl never landed._

* * *

 **AND NOW!...**

* * *

Some people think flying would be the best thing in the world.

What are us Straw Hats' feelings on that particular subject, you ask? Well, if said flying involves Monkey D. Lucy in any way, shape, or form, then you can _count. Us. Out._

"WOOOOO-HOOOO! SHISHISHI!" Lucy screamed happily. Her hair blew wildly in her face, and her eyes and mouth peeled back from the force of the wind pushing past us, but she couldn't have been radiating any less joy if you'd dangled a slab of juicy meat in her face. Which, knowing Lucy, was a very hard thing to surpass.

On the other hand, I was _not_ having quite so much fun. "LUCY, IF I DIE FROM THIS, I'M GOING TO HAUNT YOU FOREVER," I screamed, horrified at the specks of people far below us. Human beings should not healthily be so far above the ground that other people were the size of ants without some sort of physical support. Now, don't get me wrong; I'm not afraid of heights. I AM afraid, though, of crashing into the ground at nine-point-eight meters-per-second-squared, from approximately three hundred feet above the surface of the Earth. Or whatever the hell the planet that One Piece occurred on was called.

A small part of me in the back of my mind wished I'd had my girl form back. Perhaps I could have escaped Lucy's Rocket if I'd been faster...

Lucy had overshot her Gomu-Gomu no Rocket by a bit, sending us flinging way farther into the sky than she'd intended. Hence why we now flashed through the air at inhumane heights. I desperately held her rubbery arm, a lifeline protecting me from otherwise iminent death, tight to my chest. This, in turn, pushed it up so that - -

Wait.

Pushed it up?

And was that... hair in my mouth? I spat it out in disgust, an inkling of fear trickling down my spine. No way... Lucy was too far away from me for her hair to get anywhere near my face; the arm I was wrapped in was still stretched about ten feet from her actual body. That left only one possibility: It was _my_ hair that was getting in my mouth. And _that_ was a feeling I'd hoped I'd left far behind me in Alabasta, when Malik Megiddo had had the good sense to reverse the gender-bender curse that Lady Konton placed on me.

Had he mentioned something about being able to be in either body, male or female?

...Shit.

"Lucy," I said, noticing with growing horror that my voice was familiarly higher, "can you take a look at me for a sec?"

"Hm?" Lucy, innocent as a dove, turned her head towards me. I could see them flick up and down my body, which was still flapping helplessly in the air along with her arm. Her doe-like eyes blinked once. Twice. "Oh, hey, Diamond-chan."

My teeth went shark-like. "' _HEY, DIAMOND-CHAN!?'_ THAT'S ALL YOU HAVE TO SAY ABOUT THIS!?"

"Oh, hey, we're landing."

"DON'T TRY TO CHANGE THE - - Wait. WHAT!?"

I looked down, to the great discomfort of my stomach, and saw that it was unfortunately true. We were quickly losing altitude. Our momentum had finally begun to diminish, and as it grew less and less, gravity was allowed to take over more and more. I swallowed and had the sickening feeling that my stomach hung somewhere far above and behind me. I screamed as the brickwork of the buildings below us grew closer and closer.

"LUCY, DO SOMETHING!" I shrieked, scared shitless.

Lucy blinked. "Huh?"

"I'M NOT MADE OF RUBBER, YOU MORON! I'LL DIE IF I CRASH INTO THE GROUND FROM THIS HIGH UP! NOT EVEN MY WATER POWERS CAN PROTECT ME FROM THIS!"

"Oh, right. Well in that case..." Mere seconds away from impact, the raven-haired rubbergirl took in a huge breath of air, her belly expanding due to all the oxygen. "GOMU-GOMU NO BALLOON!" she said, sounding like she was stuffed with helium.

 _WHAM_.

She hadn't been a moment too soon. We crashed into the ground at breakneck speeds, but I sank safely into her air-bloated belly. We bounced back up a bit like a trampoline, spinning crazily through the air. I couldn't tell which way was up and which way was down. A second later, I again smashed into Lucy, and we bounced like that for around a minute, ricocheting off walls, bouncing off trees, and basically getting entirely dizzy.

When the trampoline from nightmares was over, I rolled dizzily off Lucy, doing my best to hold back the urge to throw up. I swallowed the disgusting taste of bile and groaned. "Lucy..." I murmured quietly, doubting that my balance would be regained any time soon, "never do that again, please. For my... urgh... sake."

I stood up and immediately fell backwards.

"Ouch."

"Oh, come on, Diamond-chan, that was fun!" Lucy giggled brightly. She let all the air in her belly loose, and it escaped into the atmosphere with a sound like a balloon deflating.

"For you, maybe. For normal people..."

She raised her eyebrow and smirked. "Like you're normal?"

"...Touche." When the world finally stopped going crazy, and my stomach felt like I could move without throwing up, I stumbled back up to my feet. Now that I had solid ground to work with, I was feeling much more confident. "Alright, come on, let's get moving. This area looks deserted now, but you never know when a bunch of angry villagers could appear around the corner."

Lucy grabbed my hand, making me blush, and started running off down the nearest road. "Right, let's go this way!"

We ran down a deserted dirt road lined with trees on the right and a row of brick buildings on the left. It was well-maintained for a dirt road. There weren't many bumps or crags you could accidentally trip over, luckily for us. Unluckily, most of the road was completely out in the open, meaning the eighty-degree sun shone right on our necks. In no time, we were hot and sweaty, panting heavily, though it was nowhere near as bad as Alabasta had been.

"Do you think... this road... goes to the beach...?" I panted, wiping sweat from my brow and frowning as a lock of long hair went with it.

Lucy shrugged. "No clue."

I allowed myself a sweatdrop. Of course Lucy had no clue where we were going. Had I honestly expected her to have a good sense of direction? Shaking my head, resigned, I ran at her tail, keeping an eye out for angry mobs accusing us of things we didn't do. Due to me having neglected to wear a bra (Hey, I'd been male for about a week! I hadn't thought I'd ever need one again!), my tits rubbed uncomfortably against my shirt. I shuddered at the thought of having to experience this again, and made a mental to note to ask Nami if I could borrow some of hers again until I figured out how to change back.

I'd ask Lucy, but number one, that would be awkward since she's my girlfriend, and number two... she simply doesn't wear them in the first place. That had caused quite the commotion on the _Going Merry_ when Nami first discovered this. The Sea Witch had done her best to force our captain into a bra for at least a day, resulting in a raging Lucy attempting to destroy each one she could find on the ship. Needless to say, that hadn't made Nami too happy, and more than a couple bumps had risen up on the top of Lucy's head as a result.

Shaking myself out of the unexpected memory, I blinked as the line of buildings to our left thinned out and then stopped completely. The road kept going, but no more houses opened up to it. And looking left, I saw why. We had reached a steep cliff that dropped to the sea, only separated from it by sand. The beach! Lucy's blind guess had actually led us to the correct location! A grin started to stretch across my lips, but the sight of the people on the beach carrying weapons and rushing at our friends quickly vanquished it. Gun retorts and the metallic ring of swords against swords reverberated up the cliff to our ears.

"Oi, oi, they're going nuts here, too!" I complained, my eye twitching. "I mean, come on! Do they think they actually look cool toting rifles in bikinis and Speedos?"

Lucy shrugged helplessly. "Your guess is as good as mine. Come on, let's help them out."

She immediately swerved left and jumped off the cliff. I skidded to a halt and stared. "That's... a long drop. Oh, well, if I have support, I can at least handle this cliff." I smirked and drew water from the air. "Tempest Grappling Hook!"

A stream of water wrapped tightly around a rock on the ledge, the other end wrapping around my hand. I grinned and began rappelling down the cliff face, my water stream acting as my rope. Due to my powers, I could make the water hard enough to keep me hanging off the cliff and not falling off.

It took me a couple minutes, but at last I found myself back at the beach. A wave of people already lay groaning and twitching on the ground, no doubt due to a few well-placed Gatlings. Others ran in terror towards me, which made me blink in confusion for a second until I noticed Lucy behind them, tearing up a small sandstorm. Rubbery arms and feet swept through the air, random people occasionally gripped in her hands. The sounds of flesh connecting painfully with flesh rose up into the air, along with the terrified screams of the islanders.

I sighed. "Already taking all the good ones, eh, Lucy?" I muttered. Then I smirked and slid into a karate stance, facing the oncoming crowd of terrified islanders. "Oi, you lot! Come at me!"

"ANYONE KNOW THAT BITCH BY THE CLIFF!?" someone yelled, immediately turning my smirk into a glare.

Another person shouted, "NOPE! BUT SHE'S OBVIOUSLY WITH THE STRAW HATS, SO GET HER!"

"AYE!" roared the group as one. The crowd's fear of Lucy turned into anger directed at me, and I tensed my muscles, bouncing on my feet. These jerks were going to pay for calling me a bitch. I _really_ didn't need any reminders of my current predicament.

Once I felt like I was ready, I tensed my legs, then dashed forward, using the agility and speed my female body came with to my advantage. Before they could react, I was already in the middle of the angered crowd, skidding to a stop. The action threw up a cloud of sand in my wake. During the confusion and chaos that arose in the islanders from having their quarry suddenly disappear, I grabbed the arm of a tall dude, and threw him over my shoulder. A small scream of surprise and panic shot out of his lungs. He hit the sand _hard._

"W-what the - - Hey, she's right there!" someone barked, shocked. "She took out Timothy! Get her, she surrounded herself!"

The sound of safety locks clicking into off and barrels cocking met my ears, and I blinked as ten... twenty... no, thirty pistols were suddenly pointed at me. Various swords and sabers were thrown into the mix as well.

I hummed, shaking my head in mock-pity. "Man, you guys are really stupid, aren't you?"

"HOW THE HELL CAN YOU BE SO CALM AND COLLECTED!?" my would-be attackers roared, tic-marks pulsing. "YOU'VE GOT LIKE THIRTY GUNS AIMED AT YOU FROM POINT-BLANK DISTANCE!"

A feral grin took over my lips. "Ah, but not all of you are the best shots, now are you? And this _is_ pretty close quarters. I don't think you want to shoot me like this. What if someone got in the way of your shot, and you accidentally hit your friend or family member instead of me?"

An unsettled silence fell over the crowd, and the islanders hesitated.

Bad move.

Using their momentary lapse in judgement, I _moved_ before they could react. My fist drove into one man's stomach, causing him to double over in pain. I slammed my elbow like a spear into another's face. He fell backwards into several of his friends, and they scrambled to get balanced while trying to keep him from falling as well. I used the unconscious body of the very first man I attacked - - Timothy, was it? - - as a springboard, jumping into the air and then using the momentum to somersault over some woman's head. She screamed in pain as I pulled her ponytail by accident.

"H-Hey, she's getting away!" the woman screamed, and her sword suddenly came slicing down at me as I landed.

I looked up idly at it and sidestepped. The iron blade whistled past, and her balance was thrown askew. As she stumbled forward, I caught her, held her arms behind her back, and spun her around to face her fellow islanders. A shit-eating smirk pulled up my lips. "Now, now, I don't think you want to attack me with a hostage, eh?"

"Screw you, kaizoku!" came a vicious snarl from behind me. A gun retorted, and suddenly _pain_ flared in my back.

My knees buckled. I released my human shield involuntarily. "Aw, fucking _daaaamn_!" I howled. I could feel blood flowing down my back. Someone had shot me while I had my back open! "Aaaargh, gods dammit!"

I sank to my knees, throwing my hands down to keep me from falling completely. My entire body shook as waves of pain crashed down on me, and tears built up in my ears. I'd never actually been shot before, and man, did it hurt like hell. I glanced upward. The crowd of islanders all were grinning sadistically, their eyes darkened maniacally by shadows.

"She's _shoooooot_ ," said a blonde guy, tapping his gun against his hand.

A woman who clung onto him annoyingly, and whom I assumed to be his wife, grinned like the devil. "Now's our chance, _darlings_!"

"We got lucky~~!" the crowd crowed.

My eye twitched. "Don't bet on it." I fought the pain and stood up even as more pistols trained on me. I took out my sword and thrust it high into the air, one hand held up against my lips with two fingers stretched out straight.

Sadistic looks changed to confusion on the islanders' faces. "What's that pose?" they muttered among themselves. "Some weird kinda surrender or salute?"

"Neither!" I said sharply. "Now prepare yourselves! Sukiru Byo - - Skill Second!"

My blood pumped, my sword transformed into a thin rapier, and I flashed out of sight.

The islanders paled, and rightly so. In a very short amount of time, I dashed through their ranks, punching here, jabbing there; a kick to that guy's stomach, a fist to that girl's skull. Ten of them dropped to the ground, unconscious or groaning in too much pain to recover quickly, within the space of as many seconds. I smacked the flat of my blade against the side of two people's heads, a high reverberation of metal-against-skull ringing out sickeningly, and they crumpled to the beach. The islanders were tossed head-first into a fit of chaos as they stumbled about, trying to both avoid getting hit and catch sight of me. It was hilarious watching them trip over themselves in an attempt to find me.

I leaped out of their midst, landing several feet away from the panicked crowd. I grinned evilly. "Sorry, guys, but I'm _waaaaaay_ out of your leagues!" I called out, letting my speed-enhancing Skill Second end. I could feel my blood slow to a normal speed as I thrust my arm out and mentally called out to the water molecules in the ocean behind me. "Get blown away! Tempest Wave!"

A _wall_ of water rose behind me, tearing across the beach and breaking past me. I'd summoned it, and it wouldn't do any harm to its master. As the shadow of the wall fell across them, the islanders turned slowly, terror filling their eyes, before it _broke_.

"AAAAAAAAGH!" came the general consensus as the islanders were swept away by the water, limbs flailing, bodies crashing into each other.

I gave an almighty _hmph._ "Well, where's a Staple's button when you need it?" I muttered, but immediately bit my tongue _again_ as a new lightning bolt of pain swept over my back. "Oh, dammit, I need Chopper," I moaned, and stumbled towards the main source of the fighting, cursing stupid islanders with their stupid pistols the entire way.

I waded through throngs of angry islanders, each staring at me as if trying to decide whether I was friend or foe. Some stupidly decided to attack me, at which point I smashed my fists into their heads. I was tired, injured, and thoroughly shot - - both literally _and_ figuratively. I didn't have the energy to play around with the people who decided I was just more scum of the seas. Anyone who got in my way received a nice _nap_.

Finally, the other islanders started noticing I was taking out their ranks slowly, and shouted to converge around this lone pirate trying to reach his/her friends. Annoyance and slight desperation flared in my eyes. Despite the sheer number of fighters I'd taken out on the beach already - - about fifty or so, if I was a wagering... _woman - -_ I could feel my energy fading. That bullet in my back was really sapping my fighting strength away. I grunted, glaring at the sea of heads and weapons before me.

"Well, I didn't want to use up that last extra life Aeso gave me in a place like this," I muttered, eye twitching, "but if I'm gonna use it up, it's gonna go out in - -"

"UP YOU GO THERE!" a cheerful voice roared in my ear, surprising me so bad I probably jumped a mile - - but even that didn't surprise me nearly as much as the sudden feeling of hands gripping me around my waist, and then my feet lifting off by themselves. It was only then I noticed the warm body holding me against its.

"What the hell - - who the - - why the - - WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON!?" I shrieked, squirming wildly in my unknown captors' grip. Due to the fact that I was quite suddenly traveling _above and past_ the islanders below me, who were about as shocked as I was, I guessed someone had locked me into some kind of hold from behind, before jumping high into the air. Due to the fact they'd grabbed me, I was carried along in the process.

"You can thank me for saving your sorry ass later!" a feminine voice said from behind me, and I craned my neck around to see an admittedly pretty girl about my age. Her shockingly purple hair flapped wildly in the wind, and her face was lit up with a wide grin. Her eyes were a deep red, reminding me disturbingly of my father's. She had a somewhat pointed jaw, and her ears were pierced, with silver crosses dangling from them. "But right now, you better prepare yourself for the landing!"

"Wait, what - -"

I promptly bit my lip - - _hard_ \- - as my feet crashed into the ground, twisting in a way feet _definitely_ should not go.

"MOTHER OF ALL THINGS HOLY!" I squeaked, trying and failing to stand.

"Yep, that's a broken foot. Good thing you have a world-class doctor on your crew!"

"FUCK YOU!" I spat at the hatefully happy girl who'd 'saved' me.I was fighting with everything I had in me not to burst out in tears at the shear _agony_ my leg erupted in. "LET ME GO AND DON'T GET IN MY SIGHT AGAIN!"

She blinked, her dark eyes flashing with innocence. "But then how will you walk back to your crew? You can't move like that, can you?"

"...I am going to kill you once Chopper fixes me up," I mumbled, my eye twitching furiously.

She smirked. "Okay, then, pretty 'boy.' Let's get you moving out of here." She jumped into the air again, me howling in protest all the way, and we soared impossible distances across the sand before landing again, lightly this time. We were now very close to the other Straw Hats - - through my bleary, tear-filled vision, I could see Zoro cutting down any islanders who got too close, Sanji brutally kicking anyone who tried to sneak up behind them, and Nami, Usopp, and Chopper clearing a path to the _Going Merry_. Elsewhere, our new recruits, Ryan and Robin (funny how both of the 'stow-away' Straw Hats' names started with 'R') were knee-deep in the fray as they fought towards Lucy.

As for the latter, the buxom captain was gleefully punching in the faces of anyone stupid enough to attack her. It almost made me shiver a bit as she leaped and bounded around, rubbery arms flailing and legs sweeping aside large groups of stragglers. With her raven-black hair blowing in the salty breeze behind her, and the evil glint in her eyes, she looked like a beautiful, terrible demoness. One thing was for sure: I was very, very glad I had _joined_ the Straw Hats and not been forced to fight _against_ them.

"Damn, remind me never to get on the bad side of your captain," whistled my 'captor' in a low voice, awed at the sheer carnage Lucy was laying.

I swallowed. "You know, I actually would have to agree to that."

As Lucy's hand barreled knuckles-first into another lady's face, sending her flying mercilessly, her eyes fell upon me. "Oh, hey, Diamond-chan. And who the hell are you?"

"Who the hell _are_ you?" I grumbled, glaring up at the strangely light-footed lady who'd 'saved' me. "You never did say."

She grinned snarkily. "That's because you never asked! The name's Desdemona Nox! Pleasure to meet ya!"

Lucy's gaze shifted from the purplette's back to me. "Should I punch her, too?"

"No," I sighed dejectedly, my eye twitching.

"Awwww."

"But you can later," I intoned. Lucy grinned maniacally. I shivered at both the savage grin and Desdemona's panicked (and enraged) glare, and said hastily, "Wait, wait, it was a joke! Sarcasm! I wasn't being serious!"

The Queen of the Pirates had never worn a bigger stink-face, and since this is Lucy we're talking about here, that is really saying something.

"Anyway, I'm injured," I said, and Desdemona waved in the direction of my bullet hole and broken legs. "We need to get back to the Going Merry as fast as goddamn possible so we can escape this mess of an island and fix me up."

Lucy nodded, still eyeing Desdemona suspiciously. My red-eyed savior giggled nervously, before leaping across an oncoming swarm of angry people towards my crewmates. Fortunately, she cleared the villagers with ease. Unfortunately, she landed exactly on Usopp's head, and he crumpled to the ground with an indignant squawk of pain.

"WHO THE - -" he sputtered, spittihe ng sand from his mouth as we rolled off him, "WHAT THE - - HOW THE - - WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED!?"

Zoro spun around and lifted a sword to Desdemona's neck. She eyed the gleaming blade fearfully, sweating bullets. It was rather fun to watch, but all the same, she HAD saved me, so I couldn't just let my fellow Straw Hat make sashimi out of her.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, there!" I interjected, stepping in his path. Zoro froze and frowned at me.

He said, "Who the hell is she? Why did you two just fall on Usopp? And... wait, why the hell are you Diamond-chan again!? I thought you turned back to normal last week."

"All good questions, and all will be answered later," I said, but of course my broken leg chose _that_ exact moment to give out. I howled in agony and crumpled to the ground, shivering as needles of electric pain spiked my entire leg. "What's important now is getting me _BACK TO THE GODDAMN SHIP!_ "

Sanji's head swiveled around in shock. "Diamond-chan!?"

"SO SLOW!" I roared, using what little strength I had left to swipe him over the head with a water punch. He crumpled to the sand murmuring about long lost mellorines, and I sighed wearily. "What the hell, he _still_ doesn't realize that I'm the same person whether I'm Damon or Diamond...?"

"I don't think he's emotionally stable enough for that," said Usopp dryly. He had fully recovered from the Desdemona Missle that had launched into his skull.

Nami sweatdropped. "It should be worrying that I completely agree with you on that fact, Usopp," she groaned, rubbing her temples, "but you know? I kind of lost any sanity I had left back with the _giant goddamn whale that ate us._ "

As for Desdemona herself, she draped an arm around me and hoisted me back up. I grunted, my eye twitching as she carried me princess-bridal style. "Anyway, I'll introduce myself to you all once we get this fella here to your ship. So let's go, shall we?"

"Aye," came the reluctant, resounding mutter from the Straw Hats in our little party.

* * *

 **Deep Under the Ocean, Somewhere in the Grand Line**

"So," said the impossibly tall man with the bat wings and the red eyes, frowning into the shining pool of water at his feet. "Damon and the girl have crossed paths at last." His fingers drummed impatiently against a scythe which hung at his side, and his lips were pale and chapped.

A shorter man, who could only reach to about the shoulders of Bat Wings, nervously nodded, a mess of purple hair bobbing with his head. His own deep, red eyes were cast in worry and obvious anxiety. "It would appear so," he mumbled in a voice that sounded suspiciously like Max Schrek. He repositioned a maroon coat that draped around, shifting his weight. "What is our course of action now, Sir?"

"Our course of action, you ask?" The man with the bat wings was silent for a minute. "For now... we wait. Soon enough, their path will lead them right where we want them. Then, depending on the young man's - - or woman's, as it were currently - - affiliation... _then_ we take further action."

The purple-haired man nodded hurriedly. "Y-yes, of course, Sir. That is a wise choice."

His superior crossed his hands as he stared down into the pool at his feet. At its surface played an animated projection of a small group of pirates finally climbing onto their goat-head-masted ship, lugging a decidedly injured crew member with them.

 _Damon_... mused Aeso, former god of the ocean and creativity. _Just whose side will you chose in this war?_

Either way... this next week would surely be one that would go down forever in the pages of history.

Or at least, thought the demon with a nasty grin, what little of it was left.

* * *

 **Sooooo this fic isn't dead, at least.**

 **That's a plus, right?**

 **As always, I hope you enjoyed this new entry in the sprawling story of Damon D. Digger and his crewmates! If you did, be sure to leave a follow and a favorite, and don't forget to write me a quick review with your thoughts on this chapter. What did you like about it? What didn't you? I'm always open to your reviews!**

 **-TheRealEvanSG**


	4. Author's Note

_Dear fans,_

 _I am deeply sorry, but due to unforeseen circumstances and a certain All-Seeing Author, I must inform you that I find myself unable to continue writing this story for the time being. Know that I am doing fine, and may one day return with many more ideas due to this sudden adventure, but until then, I must overcome the challenges I am faced with._

 _This is not to say that you will not be seeing anything from me in the future. Indeed, updates on my recent exploits may be viewed on a new series by me,_ Ripples in a Pond. _Due to not knowing enough myself to really tell you what may or may not happen in the future, I will only say this much: when you throw a stone in a pond, it causes ripples, and those ripples can have vastly unforeseen consequences on the ecosystem of the pond._

 _Wish me luck, dear readers. I'm going to need it._

 _Sincerely, TheRealEvanSG (definitely not the All-Seeing Author. Who told you that?)_


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